Totally "Useless" Questions

 

If all is not lost where is it?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains ?
What happens if you get "scared half to death" twice ?
If bankers can count how come there are 8 windows and only 4 tellers ?
Would a fly without wings be called a "walk" ?
Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
What was the best thing before sliced bread ?
Why can't I set my laser printer on "stun" ?
If the number 2 pencil is so popular why is it still number two ?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink ?
Why do psychics have to ask your name ?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn ?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets ?
Why is the alphabet in that order, is it because of that song ?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move ten miles away ?
If love is blind why is lingerie so popular ?
If you're born again , do you have two belly buttons ?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery ?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it ?
How is it possible to have a civil war ?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too ?
Whose cruel idea was it to spell the word "lisp" with an "s"
Why do you drive on a Parkway and park on a Drive way?
Why do your feet smell and your nose runs?
If convenient stores are open 24 hours, why is there locks on the doors?
Why do they call it Minute Rice when it takes 10 minutes to boil?
If olive oil is made out of olives, what is baby oil made of?
Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
If a pig loses it voice is it "disgruntled"?
If ignorance is bliss why aren't more people happy?
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices everyday how come nothing is free yet?
How can there be self help groups?
If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
How do you get off a non stop flight?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
If we're not supposed to eat late night snacks why is there a light in the refrigerator?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed ?
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin ?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips ?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour ?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's suppose to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and cats always land feet first, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat ?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way ?
Why is there an eject button on the remote control ( u still gotta get up n take the tape out )
Why is "abbreviated "such a long word?
Why is it rain drops but snow falls?
Why is it called a "T.V.set". and you only get one?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid f***ing idiot?"
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.