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Debbie was born on the 27th of March 1987. She was
a beautiful, happy baby. A very good baby too, she only cried for a
reason. I was a 19 year old single mum, terrified, but also felt
very lucky to have such a perfect baby. The months went on, and I
(along with my mother), started noticing debbie, wasn't speaking
like the other toddlers her age. My Health Visitor noticed it too,
and advised me to take debbie, to see a speech-therapist. Obviously
I did, I trusted the professionals, more than I trusted my self as a
new mum!! Then when debbie was 3yr 7months , she went to
nursery-school. I knew she was a 'handful', at home, and did expect
her to be similar in nursery, but in some ways she was worse. She
could never concentrate for more than a few seconds, was extremly
'fidgety' and unable to sit still. Most of her nursery days, were
spent being in trouble. I remember going to pick her up once, and
she was sat in a corner on a stool, being told to face the wall,
that was the very first time I thought my heart would break!!
I
was told she had to see an 'educational psychologist', with her
being so "naughty", again I trusted, and went along, thinking I was
helping my child. I was told that debbie, apart from being
"naughty", also had a learning and language disability, she found it
very hard to understand speech, which explained her 'strange'
language, and lack of understanding. Debbie carried on being
"naughty", and I carried on feeling a failure, and so very
helpless!
Debbie's behaviour started to get worse the older she
got, she had 'silly' phases at the age of 2yr 6 months, and they
also got worse with age, things like if she saw something 'swinging'
(in her eyes) she would scream and have the biggest tantrum you had
ever seen! Playgrounds were a nightmare, even trees swaying in the
wind would set her off. She had no sense whatsoever of danger, and I
am so grateful I stuck to my guns, by arguing with friends and
family, who said I was being too protective of her.
Since she
started nursery, I cannot think of more than 5 days in 7 years, that
debbie had not been in trouble at school. Every day was a nightmare
for us, some of the parents were great, but mostly they hated my
poor daughter or myself, debbie for being so "naughty", and myself
for not bringing her up properly!
This went on, for nearly 7
years, debbie getting gradually worse, mixing with other children
etc, then it was decided, instead of her going to a 'normal'
high-school, she would be better going to a 'special' school, (even
though her 'friends' had grown up with her from nursery, they were
now noticing more so, that debbie was 'different' from them, and
children can be very cruel!!) So again I trusted in the 'system',
she went to this special school, and at this school, to cut a very
long and devastating story short, my little girl aged 10, unknown
and realised by me, suffered the worst type of abuse imagionable,
for nearly 9 months from 4 of the pupils there. This has led to her
having the Post-Traumatic-Stress-Syndrome, which she is still
suffereing from to this day.
I am very angry about what happened
to my child, but I will not put that anger on this site! I am
wanting to help my daughter, and other autistic children, by making
this society more aware of Autism. If I had known about autism when
my baby was 3, I would have known that she was autistic. I tell
myself everyday that if I had known I would have not let her down,
the way she has been!! And I would certainly not have let the
'system' fail her the way it has!!
Family
The only reason debbie
and I have got through these years of hell, is due to my family, my
mum and Ian, have gone through this last 4 years with us every step
of the way, and I cannot, no matter how much I try thank them enough
for it.
My poor mum has been with me ALL the way, watching
debbie's torment and frustration, as a little girl in a 'jigsaw'
world. And not being able to fit the pieces together.
I love you
mum and ian.
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